jump to navigation

Couture for Men February 12, 2007

Posted by federalist in Open Questions.
trackback

The fashion industry has been utterly coopted by the female perspective.  I believe there is a latent market for clothing that appeals to the innate interests of men: Namely, technologically advanced and concretely useful apparel, rather than arbitrarily trendy and frilly patterns and designs.

To first illustrate key gender differences I offer as examples my wife and my self.  It is particularly amusing how our disparate interests can render one of us virtually blind to things that are central to the vocabulary of the other.  For example, my wife is oblivious to vehicles.  If I ask her, “What kind of rental were you driving this past week?”, I am bound to end up with a response along the lines of, “Um, it was white, sort of an SUV.  I think the logo was an oval with something inside it.”  Meanwhile, with just a glimpse of part of a car I can flesh out any number of details, including the brand, model, approximate model year, and probably a good number of trim features.  I can tell you why one car or feature is better or more expensive than another.  But I don’t naturally notice clothes.  I can’t remember what I wore yesterday.  Even after I spend an afternoon with somebody I probably couldn’t remember what they were wearing in any more than the most general terms.  In contrast, my wife can remember what she was wearing on almost any occasion in her life.  She can usually remember what I was wearing.  She knows if clothes are expensive or fashionable, even if she doesn’t own them.  (All I know is that some of my clothes don’t fit very well, and that others have to be dry cleaned if I get them dirty.)

But if I may be premitted to generalize from my wife, women are like that: They wear makeup and earrings.  They adorn themselves with accoutrements that serve no useful purpose — and in many cases are anti-utilitarian.  And this is the reason that men need their own couture: It’s not that men like me don’t care about clothes as much as women.  It’s just that we care about them in different ways.

If I could indulge in couture the first thing I would do is banish all accoutrements that do not serve a useful function.  Belts and ties are out; after all, the height of fashion should be the ability to design and buy clothes that fit without the need for extraneous straps.  Like suspenders and garters, these are surely just accessories that came into custom because mass-produced clothes weren’t designed to fit well enough on their own.  Likewise, non-fastening collars and other superfluous buttons and flaps are to be cut out.  Today’s collars are limp vestiges of removable collars that could be laundered more frequently than the shirt they protected.  Lapels that in previous ages could be buttoned up against the weather today are useless; they may as well be painted onto jackets.

Male couture should pay more attention to the properties and technology of fabric than to its color or shape.  I am thrilled that I can now buy non-shrinking, wrinkle-free, stain-resistant clothes that I can throw in a washer and dryer without worrying about how hot or hard I run the machines.  Semi-permeable and breathable fabrics like Gore-Tex are starting to look passe compared to materials that incorporate anti-microbial properties.  I would gladly shell out even more money for clothes that are lint-free, and would expect true male couture to incorporate more exotic features like anti-static fibers or embedded metal filament like those conductive suits worn by high-voltage linemen.  (“Volt-Tex — because you never know when you’ll be struck by lightning.”  These marketing slogans practically write themselves!)

Male fashion should extend beyond the materials to address form and function in ways that men naturally care about.  Colors should be incorporated only at a basic level for purely utilitarian purposes — white for a clean image, black to conceal or subdue, bright red or yellow for safety or attention.  Any patterning of color can be permitted only as part of an explicit camoflauge strategy.

As for the form of the clothing, I’d be perfectly happy if everything were a one-piece jumpsuit.  The only options should be whether the sleaves are short or long, how warm or cool the fabric will keep me, and how many clever pockets there are.

Advertisements

Comments»

1. Hamilton - April 28, 2007

Okay, ties definitely serve no useful purpose… but belts certainly do.

James Bond can slide down a rope using a belt, Army Rangers are trained to kill with belts, and belts provide an extra measure of protection during strip poker games.

Plus, if one’s weight fluctuates over the course of owning a particular pair of pants… a belt helps to mediate. One-size, form-fitted pants would not serve you well after a trip to a Brazilian Barbeque. And elastic materials (read: sweatpants), are nowhere close to being considered classy.

2. federalist - August 16, 2007

“Merrell, like many manufacturers, doesn’t reintroduce those beloved products. That would be moving backward, it says.” This is clothing, not electronics. Fortunately, not all clothing manufacturers think it’s a step “backward” to continue to sell popular products.

It says a lot about fashion today that the promise to produce the same reliable thing is a gimmick worth marketing.

And once again we find distinct gender differences:

Women, already accustomed to the changing rhythms of fashion, tend to be intrigued by the quickened pace. Men, on the other hand, are generally more leery of adopting new styles, retailers say. They more often remain faithful customers of a single company, once they find something that fits and looks good.

3. federalist - May 28, 2009

Looks like the fashion establishment might be catching up with me. At least jumpsuits are coming into style….

4. federalist - February 10, 2011

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: